Every Shut Eye Ain't Sleep!

Grandma used to say it aaalllll the time: "Every shut eye ain't sleep." And she would say it in regards to children knowing more than we think they know. Grandma is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
Parents your children know more of what's going on than you think they know and that can be a scary thing. It is so very important that we live our lives so they'll want to emulate us instead of having to make excuses and protect us. In an atmosphere of hypocrisy, half truths, and serving our temporal and immediate desires instead of focusing on those eternal desires, this can be very damaging to our children and THEIR eternal goals. I remember reading my father's patriarchal blessing, it has a warning in it. And from his warning I have seen in many families that children fall into very thing that his warning entails:
"Your children will follow in what paths you travel."
This is not true of all families but in those I have counseled with and fellowshipped with regarding the gospel and their children, its been very true for the most part. You simply cannot teach one way in your home and live another way. Children become angry at the double standard they're being asked to see and live.They become frustrated and confused. Some spend years in this resentment while trying to sort out and strengthen their testimonies. Many fall away from the church and some never return. It's sad and a shame. I'm grateful that when my parents divorced, my mother never waivered in her church service or activity. She never allowed my sister and I to either. My father also remained active in church as well. So for me to associate divorce with church inactivity was something I'd never witnessed until moving out west. I saw a trend... "get divorced and go inactive" as if it was part of a 12 step program. It didn't occurred to me to stop going just because of separation or divorce. I think I would be clinging on to the church for dear life would have been step 2 in that 12 step program.

Back to our kids.
The children should have the opportunity to go to church with each parent. IT IS IMPORTANT for them to share those spiritual times and experiences with both parent. It keeps the family unit secure in the gospel and it lets them see and experience the Lords hand in healing and repairing family situations. I like that, It lets them experience the Lord hand in the healing. They should also be experiencing FHE, Family Prayer, Scripture reading and gospel discussions with each parent. This will not only keep building that foundation of Jesus Christ within the family, it will heal and help create a healthy partnership with the other parent.

As both parents are trying to keep their lives worthy of the Lord's blessings he will compensate for those difficult struggles we go through. Our part is to live worthily and teach our children to do the same. It is crazy to expect blessings for disobedience & slackness. The Lord gives our children certain protections for certain times because he is merciful. But he is also just. At some point as parents we need to take personal inventory of our lives, our actions and what messages good and bad, right and wrong we are giving our children. We are accountable for what we FAIL to do, our lack of acton, just as we are accountable for what we actually do. We have to look at ourselves and say ]
"What am I actually teaching my children and how is this going to effect them throughout the eternities? What am I failing to do at the expense of my children's spirituality and testimony? Am i being selfish and greedy? Are my goals eternal or temporal? Am I giving in to temporal desires at the expense of Eternal blessings? Am I teaching my children to do the same?"

Chances are your children know what you should and shouldn't be doing just as you know. Regardless of their confusion and anger and resentment about it, they love you. They will protect you. They don't want to disappoint you, make you angry or sad by ruffling feathers about it. Not too many kids will call their parents on their actions.

Parent's, Every shut eye ain't sleep. Children know. And most children follow in the paths of their parents. Remember whatever you're doing, it is either at the benefit or expense of your children